29

A week from today....I will be turning 29. That's right, you heard me right, there was no mistaking what I said..........29. I will begin my last year of being in my 20's.

I. Am. So. Depressed.

I cannot believe it is happening to me!

A famous person once said:

"I still feel 18 inside, but then I look in the mirror
and see that I don't look 18 anymore, and I think - That is not me, what has happened!?!" ~Bishopette Bobbie Shoemake

That is exactly how I feel. I feel like a fraud, someone that is faking being an adult...I don't feel like one inside.

I have never minded getting older. In fact, I have loved my 20's - they have been great. But to think that next year I will be 30!!!!!! I NEVER thought I would be here. 30 ALWAYS seemed so OLD - and now, here I am one year away from "old".

[A special "Thank you" to the Blue Bomber kid in our class a few weeks ago, who asked how old I was, and then without any hesitation said, "Wow, that is really old" - you did not even notice my eyes welling up with tears, my heart being crushed....I know, I know, I am being dramatic.]

I know I should just roll with it. It is just part of life. But knocking at 30's door has truly made me stop and think. Made me evaluate my life, what I have done, what I HAVEN'T done, where I was SUPPOSED to be at this time in my life. I feel a little panicked when I think of everything I want to do before 30 is here.

Knowing what is ahead gives me a year to come to full acceptance of something I cannot stop or change.

Just bare with me if you happen to walk by me sometime this year and I am having a complete break-down, if Alzheimer's starts to set in, or if you happen to notice any white hairs on my head (DO NOT point them out unless you are willing to comfort me as I cry).

You never know, maybe the rapture will happen next year and I will get to stay 29 forever. -LW